“The car was a piece of shit, but thanks to Keith the stereo sounded fucking great” recalls Patrick, the main character in Jason Buhrmester’s 2009 novel Black Dogs. The same could be said about the book: while the plot is overtly formulaic and the characters seem to go nowhere other than a Led Zeppelin concert, its clever use of music makes their journey sound a lot more fun.
The plot may sound intriguing, but don’t get your hopes it. Black Dogs follows Patrick and his friends Frenchy, Keith, and Alex as they scheme to rob Led Zeppelin after their famous three night stand at Madison Square Garden. Patrick returns home on the day that his best friend Alex is released from jail. Alex blames him for being in jail, so Alex must convince him as well as Keith and Frenchy to help him pull of his master plan. In the midst of all this, they sit around drinking beer and smoking pot while they spin Black Sabbath’s Paranoid and hook up with girls.
But the good life can’t last forever. Patrick’s plan to rob Led Zeppelin involves first stealing a rare 1958 Les Paul to sell to Jimmy Page so that they have a way to get into their hotel. Patrick says his plan is simple, but of course someone screws it up. Alex’s uncle Danny foils the plan after stealing a safe that belongs to a Christian biker named Backwoods Billy. Billy uses religion as a cover for his motorcycle gang, “finding” it prison while getting his G.E.D., to push pills and guns. Danny then sells the safe to Boogie, a member of the funk band The New York Giants who’s crafty with safes.
After meeting these characters is when the story takes off. Danny, Backwoods Billy, and Boogie are far more interesting than anyone in this stoner Rat Pack. One would expect much more tension after meeting a friend after he gets out of prison for something you put him there for. But when Patrick talks to Alex at his “welcome home” party, it’s only awkward for a minute before Patrick explains his plan. When these kleptos aren’t stealing car stereos or breaking into their girlfriends houses, they argue about episodes of “Hawaii Five-O” and whether or not The Doors were on “Soul Train.”
The pop-culture banter is amusing for a while. You feel as though you might of hung out with these guys in high school, but after a while you realize they aren’t going anywhere or doing anything really significant. Sure, their lives may become more interesting after stealing from a Christian motorcycle gang who clobbers them at a carnival, but in the end they are the same as they were on page one. The protagonists recall those on “That 70’s Show” if they decided to be badasses but alwasy failed trying.
The story is obviously influence by aspects of Jason Buhrmester’s life. Surely he never was a thief, but he probably smoked a lot of pot and listened to Black Sabbath with his friends. At times though, Buhrmester becomes too focused on trying to relive these years of his life. With constant lines like “Led Zeppelin tore into “Black Dog...” and “‘Electric Funeral’ erupted from the stereo,” it begins to sound like a school report on rock and roll. Everybody asks Patrick if he listens to anything other than Black Sabbath, always replying no.
Though there isn’t much variety, the best part about Black Dogs is the music. At times the use of certain songs are clever and thoughtfully placed. When Backwoods Billy tells Patrick that rock and roll is the devil’s music, he replies “I don’t listen to rock, I like Johnny Cash.” Billy then lets him go, but when Patrick turns on his car the most satanic Black Sabbath verses blare from the 8-track player. Later on, Patrick uses John Osbourne as an alias: John Osbourne is Ozzy’s real name. Patrick may not listen to a lot of different music, but he sure knows a lot about it. Yet it always seems to get him in as well as out of trouble.
Jason Buhrmester’s Black Dogs sounds like Elmore Leonard decided to turn Detroit Rock City into a novel when he was 15 years old. Much of the book sounds amateurish, using many of the same descriptions and devices over and over. What’s best about Black Dogs are the fringes of the story. The secondary characters liven up a story fueled by one chugging riff.
Great job on explaining the main points of the story and plot line. Some of the sentences are somewhat simple when you could have used some more intelligent sounding word structure. There are a couple of grammatical errors that need to be fixed but they are not that bad. Would have been nice to hear a little more about what you thought about the story as apposed to just telling what happened. Overall you did a good job though.
ReplyDeleteRyan Brunner
The detroit rock city mention is funny.
ReplyDeletelast sentence of the first paragraph: the comma should have been a period or a but should have followed
ReplyDeleteyour sentences were ridged at points... did'nt flow well
I feel like you gave away too much of some aspects of the plot (Don't tell the audience that the robbery is going to fail!)
I like how you brought up that there was not enough tension nor awkwardness between patrick and alex, but then again it was danny's fault.
be careful when you use obviously....
i like the "stoner rat pack" comparison. It's funny what you said about Buhrmester's life , because I too envisioned him as a thrash metal burnout.
ReplyDeleteTotally agree with your review but what I liked is you said it in a way that gives it its fair shake for what it is. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteI was a little confused at what you were trying to say about the music. In one paragraph you say how it becomes too much at times and then in the other you praise how Buhrmester uses it. Try to be a little but more clear in differentiating how he used music in both ways.
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